Dumb car names

14 08 2007

Sometimes car companies stumble on a great car name. But sometimes they balls up in a big way – like the Mazda Bongo Friendee, Honda Vamos and Mitsubishi Starion…

Finding a name for a new car can never be simple for manufacturers, but it is easy to suspect that some try harder than others.


Witness the litany of strange, inappropriate or just plain side-slapping car badges that have appeared over the years and you have to wonder whether some car makers are lacking in imagination or have far too much.

Because for every made-up but inoffensive Camry or profound Mondeo or Statesman there are others that seem to have been inspired after a long lunch at the pub.

The list below offers a few quickies – if anyone can add some more then please feel free.

Honda Vamos Hobio Travel Dog – The obvious name for small people mover designed specifically for those who like to have a canine on board.

Mitsubishi T-Box – Move the hyphen and the space around a bit after the second “i”. I’m not making this up.

Mitsubishi Starion – Legend has it the someone in marketing called the badge-maker telling them the new car was to be called a stallion. Accents did the rest. As legends go, it’s a beauty.

Volkswagen Polo – Only slightly funny, unless you’re Italian and it sounds a lot like “Volkswagen Chicken” (pollo).

Lancia Y10 – Only slightly funny, unless you’re English and it sounds a lot like “Lancia White Hen.”

Volkswagen Touareg – Unpronounceable to most people. Name has been taken from a North African Bedouin tribe who haven’t litigated presumably because the styling of this German 4WD also uncannily resembles a camel.

Chevrolet Impala – Inappropriate zoological imagery is popular with car makers, but this should have been called the Chevrolet Tapir. Or Three Toed Sloth.

Mazda Bongo Friendee – Nonsensical, but strangely charming appellation for another small van. Possibly indicates Japan’s drug problem is worse than first suspected.

Ferrari 575M SuperAmerica – Sounds more like a new cartoon hero based on the chin of Michael Schumacher. At least it leaves no doubt about the country Ferrari designs most of its cars for.

Holden Calais – Luxury car named after a French seaport featuring a tunnel entrance and some huge duty free booze shops. Evocative, really.

and the dumb car name list continues.

Make Name Comments
Ford Edsel Sort of like calling a car “Bob”, “John” or “Frank”
Daihatsu Rocky Did they name it after the movie or the mountains?
Daihatsu Charade It’s pretending to be a car.
Mitsubishi Aspire It’s ambition is to be a car.
Ford Escort It goes wherever you go.
Dodge Neon What’s tacky-looking and glows in the dark?
AMC Gremlin Was this car full of them?
Toyota Stout Maybe they’d sell more if it was “Big & Tall”
Datsun Cherry Having it stolen is like losing your virginity.
Subaru Justy Justy whaty?
Dodge Scamp This car is either a rogue, or it moves in a stop-and-go fashion.
Dodge Swinger This is the perfect car for wife-swappers.
Plymouth Reliant Ironic, considering it was marketed as a “disposable car”.
Hyundai Accent Does it’s engine make odd inflection noises?
Kia Mentor Does this car teach you how to drive it?
Mitsubishi Mirage The car that you only think you’re driving.
Daihatsu Applause When you buy it, the salespeople cheer for you.
Daihatsu Rugger The perfect car for Carpet installers or Rugby players.
Honda Acty Crawler Does it have wheels or 6 legs?
Honda Jazz Like, cool, man…
Honda Joy-Machine Like driving an orgasm
Isuzu Big Horn For people who hate the sound of those little beep-beep horns.
Isuzu Forward Does it have a reverse gear at all?
Mazda Bongo *
Mazda Bongo Brawny *
Mazda Bongo Friendee * Maybe if they keep trying, they’ll figure out what’s wrong with the name…
Mazda Titan It’s either a really big SUV, or a condom…
Mitsubishi Guts That’s all they’ll find of you, after you crash it.
Nissan Big Thumb ???
Nissan Fairlady Z Possibly inspired by a Giant Robot show for girls.
Daihatsu Town Cube Yes, it’s a small, square minivan, advertized like it was a wardrobe or closet on wheels. I’m not kidding.
Plymouth Duster I suppose it’s better than “Mop” or “Broom”.
Dodge Demon Who do you think would drive a car with a name like that? Could it be… Satan??
Dodge Drifter A car for Transients?
Dodge Rampage The Road-rage car.


Courtesy of : http://www.weirdcrap.com/scholarly/carnames.html




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